Dear Cabinet and Politburo members
COMRADES, have you ever noticed that our Anglo-Saxon detractors through their propaganda outlets such as the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) and the Cable News Network (CNN) always try to get people who know nothing to tell the world the Zimbabwean story?
Only at the weekend, Joice — of all people in this world — was summoned to appear on BBC where she was supposed to answer to a whole gamut of charges against ZANU-PF.
And as naturally expected, she only did her very best to embarrass her foolish self in these interviews, resulting in Steven Sucker, one of those that interviewed her asking: “Joice Mujuru if you are so ignorant of what happens in Zimbabwe, what use are you to the country?”
If their agenda was sincere, these imperialistic propaganda outfits would have made genuine efforts to get everything straight from the horse’s mouth, but what I can tell you Cdes is that neither BBC, CNN or any other western propaganda channel has ever approached us to ask us to favour them with fulsome no-holds barred interviews similar to that which they foisted on poor Joice.
The reason is simply that they fear us … there are no two ways about it! They know that the truth will be exposed and we will leave them with an egg in the face: So the strategy has always been to look for soft and hopeless targets, while avoiding us — the real McCoy — at all cost.
All the so-called issues that they would want addressed like the unfortunate disturbances that took place in the southern parts of this country in the early days of our independence, Operation Murambatsvina, economic difficulties and everything else cannot be explained away competently without one explaining the role played by these Anglo-Saxon devils in these developments.
Because they know that we are able to competently cross-examine this Anglo-Saxon agenda in all these developments, they have decided to rather play it safe by avoiding us like the plague.
They know that they will not be able to manage the self-damage that could result from them giving such a global platform to us to explain real issues.
This so-called Gukurahundi was in fact an Anglo-Saxon plot to exterminate the late Father Zimbabwe, Umdala Wethu Joshua Nkomo and his PF-ZAPU, because of a long held grudge resulting from the downing of two Air Rhodesia Vickers Viscount aircraft by the Zimbabwe People’s Liberation Army (ZIPRA) forces during the liberation war… in September 1978 and in February 1979 to be more specific. These two wartime incidents resulted in the death of more than 100 whites from various countries. And the white world never forgave Umdala Wethu and his PF-ZAPU for it, so unbeknownst to us, these Anglo-Saxon devils took advantage of our policy of reconciliation that had resulted in some ex-Rhodies remaining in some key security arms of government to try and annihilate the people from the southern parts of this country.
If anything, we should be credited with stopping a sure genocide that was being perpetrated by these devils on our people. Anyone who doubts this version of events is free to consult the now-declassified files of the former British prime minister, Margaret Thatcher, which files clearly show what these devils were up to.
These people have tried to accuse us of looting the country, but you Cdes know who the people who have really plundered this country are… imperialism was all about plundering and London and other western capitals are the living monuments of this act.
Even after we got our political independence, the plunder continued via smarter means and they have continued to this very day.
Even our diamonds that the BBC anchorman made a show of concerns about can be traced to London and other western capitals.
Our economy is limping because of the severe illegal and criminal sanctions imposed on us by these devils, yet they would want to appear to be angels. All our problems start and end with the Anglo-Saxon devils and their western colleagues.
Just look at the readiness with which the same West has rushed to embrace Joice … does it look like they really believe that she was part of the leadership that was making the atrocities that they claim have been committed? You can’t even believe that she was once on travel sanctions together with everyone else… that exposes this lie that this West is trying to sell to the world.
This is the truth that those channels will never want the world to know about hence their deliberate decision never to give us a platform to debate theses issues.
Anyway, lets us see where this mischief will take them. But what I know is that no matter how much they may try to blame us for everything that they clandestinely do to this country, in the long run, history will absolve us of any wrongdoing.
There is no one else who loves this country better than you loyal members of our great revolutionary party.
… AND CZ’S NOTEBOOK
Whoever is playing adviser to Joice Mujuru is a fraudster and therefore should have the serious fraud squad unleashed on them.
Unless she advises herself as we are being made to believe by those who have since separated ways with her, then no advisor could certainly be so cruel as to allow their client to make an idiot of themselves the way the former vice president has of late been doing to herself.
The 2018 elections that she is hoping to usher her to State House are only over a year away and it is very clear that the Zimbo Diaspora will not be voting, yet Mujuru thinks it is a constituency that matters more than getting the name of her political party correct and knowing who is with her or against her after the recent split so that her strength is not left to guesswork and approximations ahead of a possible coalition with other opposition politicians.
To her, a joyride to London will do it all. Worse still, she thought fulsome interviews with the global media will translate to a bounteous harvest of votes in rural Mangwe, Rushinga or Zhombe … interviews that only serve to confirm what most people have long feared most about her … that a leopard never changes its spots.
Anyway, as someone who has never expected anything good to come from the sister, Dr CZ is happy that he is not in for any disappointment.
Dr CZ has been thoroughly impressed by the cemetery silence that is coming from the Zimbabwe Union of Journalists (ZUJ) in the face of attacks of journalists from two prominent businessmen. First it was Garikai Mazara for approaching convicted fraudster, Wicknell Chivayo, for comment on progress — in fact lack of it — on the US$202 million State-funded solar power project in Gwanda. The brother got more than he bargained for. Chivayo went ballistic, bombarding Mazara with all sorts of unprintable insults both against his person and everyone in this thankless profession that ZUJ claims to stand for.
Thankfully, Mazara kept his cool, and proceeded to report Chivayo to the police and the law is duly taking its course.
While, Chivayo was savaging Mazara and the entire journalism profession, his partner at the Zimbabwe Football Association (ZIFA) appeared on ZBCTV announcing that he was banning journalist Hope Chizuzu from practising football journalism in Zimbabwe. His crime was allegedly putting Zimbabwean football into disrepute. To Cde Captain Fiasco, Zimbabwean football is one and the same (and therefore interchangeable) with the name Phillip Chiyangwa. Where Chiyangwa got those powers, we don’t know. What we know with certainty is that ZUJ has said nothing about it and will continue saying nothing until another journalist dies.
When everything has been said and done, Captain Fiasco is just a character-and-half whose mischief one cannot help, but follow at the end of the day, whether they like it or not. Anyway, who said life is a serious business in the first place?
In the run-up to today’s Confederation of African Football (CAF) elections in which he is trying to topple long-reigning CAF president, Issa Hayatou, Chiyangwa unleashed marauding teams of British, Cameroonian and Egyptian lawyers to harass the Cameroonian dictator left, right and centre.
Chiyangwa insists Hayatou is not just too old, but has overstayed and therefore should go and play with his grandchildren.
Meanwhile, Cde Fiasco is telling us that since the good riddance departure of former Warriors coach Callisto Pasuwa, more than 600 football coaches from all over the world who are interested to coach the Zimbabwe national soccer team have contacted him. Please dear reader; don’t ask Dr CZ if these purported coaches know that ZIFA does not pay, not just its coaches, but also anyone.
One of Dr CZ’s fans sent him the following nine messages to share around:
1. Stay away from anger, it hurts only you.
2. If you are right then there is no need to get angry, and if you are wrong then you don’t have any right to get angry.
3. Patience with family is love, patience with others is respect. Patience with self is confidence and patience with God is faith.
4. Never think hard about the past. It brings tears. Don’t think more about the future. It brings fears. Live this moment with a smile, it brings cheers.
5. Every test in our life makes us bitter or better, every problem comes to make us or break us, the choice is ours whether we become victims or victorious.
6. Beautiful things are not always good, but good things are always beautiful.
7. Do you know why God created gaps between fingers? So that someone who is special to you comes and fills those gaps by holding your hand forever.
8. Happiness keeps you sweet so try and be as happy from within as possible.
9. God has sent us all in pairs, someone somewhere is made for you. So wait for the right time and right moment.