Dear Cabinet and Politburo members
COMRADES, when we tell you that ours is the most democratic of all the parties around, some of you doubt it. It is most likely because of familiarity that gets most of you to take our democratic credentials for granted.
A child who grows up in a family with many cattle or cars will always take these things for granted and sometimes may not value them as much as those that are raised in families without these things. It is the same with democracy. Because we are a democracy, many people within and without the party take our democracy for granted.
I am referring to the extraordinary congress that people have called for and will be getting shortly. Many in our party take it for granted, but ask those in Morgan’s MDC-T or in Joice’s project, they will tell you it is a luxury that they can get killed for. Yet in our party, it is something that any ordinary member can get just by asking.
That is how democratic our great revolutionary party is. Many who have left the comfort of the party, lured by the grass that appears greener in the next paddock, have lived to regret it. Ask Cde Didymus who is now calling every night begging me to accept him back, as if I own the people’s party. Ask Cde Webster, the perennial prodigal son, ask Cde Nicholas, ask anyone else; they will tell you that there is no better democracy outside the party that introduced it in this country.
Because your leadership is not a dictatorship by any stretch of the imagination, when the people started demanding — through some of you — that they want a possible change in leadership and they could not wait until the end of 2019, we could not tell them to bear with us a little longer. We just had to give in to their demands and because of that, an extra-ordinary congress is coming in a few weeks’ time. Let me warn all of you, Comrades, that at this extra-ordinary congress, no one is safe, myself included.
We are leaders of a democratic party… we just follow what the people want us to do for them.
I am also anxious to know what changes the people want to introduce to their party and as a loyal servant of the people, I am ready to abide by their orders, that is if I am privileged to continue serving them, as you are all aware that I have always served at their pleasure.
This reminds me of the extra-ordinary congress that took place at Salisbury Prison in 1974. It all started as a joke like this and before I knew it, voting was taking place and a new leadership was put in place! The people kept visiting us in prison to demand that we do away with some people who were no longer leaders, but mis-leaders, and I personally felt the timing was not right, but the people would have none of it and they had their way. That is when I learnt never to attempt to stand in the way of a flood of popular will, no matter what, lest one becomes part of the collateral damage that results from such emotive situations.
It is that time again when the people reward their servants, each according to their work… let us all wait to see what the main prizes and consolation prizes will be like. None of you Cdes can blame me for not doing my part in encouraging you to work hard… can you?
Let’s all wait to see.
. . . AND THE NOTEBOOK
This week, the media reminded us that 50 people are rubbing their bellies in gleeful anticipation, having applied for the hang-(wo)man’s job that has been unfilled since 2005. All of them are keeping their fingers crossed and hoping God and the gods will smile at them.
To many, this is rather strange and only goes to highlight how perverted many Zimbos have grown to be.
But what these Zimbos overlook is that they all stand before public executioners everyday of their lives without noticing because these executioners clothe themselves in a rather acceptable title of “politician” and their “businessperson” cousins. These try as much as they can to make their own mass executions appear humane and therefore acceptable.
Almost every politician (and businessperson) in this country is already a hangman in his or her own right. These people supervise the painfully slow, but sure, execution of hundreds of thousands of Zimbos.
So it worries Dr CZ when Zimbos appear to be shocked at those who come out in the open to declare that they enjoy killing people, for they are no better than those that do it in the name of public good. From his reading of Robin Hood’s frightening books, Dr CZ has grown to accept that indeed there are also many doctors and nurses who also fondle some of these sadistic proclivities.
When thousands of people die every year on the death traps that are excuses of roads in this country simply because someone wants a kickback or bribe from those ready to improve the roads, how different is that to being a hangman?
When thousands of people perish from preventable diseases simply because someone thinks purchasing basic drugs is the responsibility of donor agencies, or when people die from cholera because water treatment chemicals can only be supplied by relatives and friends who pay good kickbacks — isn’t that murder in broad daylight?
In this 21st Century, women still die giving birth because the sorry apology we have for a government is headed by people who think leadership is about attending each and every high-sounding global summit to waffle, waffle, waffle some more… isn’t this femicide?
When fathers stress themselves to death because they have been effectively castrated and therefore can no longer afford to provide for their families because politicians have played havoc with the country, isn’t that mass murder?
When young people who are supposed to be the future of any decent country resort to hard drugs out of hopeless frustration resulting from joblessness, is that not mass killing?
When people are tortured and killed for exercising the freedoms that the purported independence of this country brought about, is that not genocide?
When the supply of the life-saving anti-retroviral drugs is suddenly cut because someone thinks the Aids levy can be put to other uses, is that not being Hilter-like?
A few years ago, Dr CZ visited Adolf Hitler’s death chambers at the Buchenwald Concentration Camp… the lingering smell of death that one gets there is the same one gets when they visit our certified mortuaries that we have the gall to call hospitals.
Yet with all these perverts in their midst, Zimbos are still foolish to believe that killers are those that wear hoods and trigger the gallows’ floors to disappear from underneath their victims!
Some of the politicians that publicly oppose capital punishment give the impression that they suddenly have a place in their hearts for human rights, yet the real reason they are opposed to hangings is that they fear suffering the fate of Haman, that yokel in the Book of Esther who ended up being hanged on the gallows he had set up for Mordecai. Having been career criminals, these people have every reason to fear for the worst in a new dispensation.
The weekend before last, the owners of the country ordered that vendors should be cleared from the streets of Harare. And Zimbos cheered in agreement. But as we started this week, the crusade appeared to be losing brio… which is not surprising at all because the exercise is tiring as it is an obvious waste of time and effort. It is like trying to chop off hydra’s head. You chop off one head, two grow in its place and you have more problems with nine where, before, you had eight.
The very same people who complain of the vendor menace are the ones that lend the much-needed oxygen to the problem by buying from these vendors. How many times have we bought something from a hawker at a traffic light? How many times have we bent down to buy vegetables and fruits on the street pavements? How many times have we bought green mealies roasted right along Robert Mugabe Street? And how many times have we complained bitterly that kombi crews have reneged on their promises by refusing to drop us at undesignated ranks that are very close to our work places? Yet when it comes to complaining about the chaos in Harare, we are the same people who shout the loudest!
Those people did not just bring themselves there… we invited them and it is only us who can also collectively dismiss them. If we do not buy from them for just a week, they will think twice before coming to spread their mats on the pavements.
We have heard some blaming it on Grace Mugabe. Being a politician, she can do or say anything, but she cannot be held accountable because in politics no one is accountable for their actions. Politicians take advantage of stupid people who believe anything, so we only have our stupid selves to blame. It is like trying to blame the mess that this country has become on politicians without the ordinary Zimbo taking the blame. That is stupidity-writ-large!
A policeman who expressed his personal opinion that the Zimbabwe Republic Police Force’s (no) public relations department was headed by an idiot is being charged with contravening the Postal and Communication Act blah, blah. We wonder if this law really prohibits people from holding opinions and sharing them, in which case it could be ultra vires the Constitution because the right to hold and impart information is a basic human right.
“Idiot” is not really an insulting term, just like bastard, dictator and whore. It all depends on how one chooses to see it. It appears bad when one gets into denial mode and chooses to deny realities. In this case, the reaction of the police seems to confirm exactly what the embattled police officer feared.
Many people in the world see Zimbos — Dr CZ included — as idiots. It is what we do or don’t that shapes their opinions. So what we do after being told that we are stupid only serves to confirm or debunk that opinion.
The October date came to pass and Phillip Mugadza, the demented chap calling himself a pastor, now thinks it is high time he took his monkey antics to Parliament? Isn’t it ironic that a country that takes such a person even half-seriously would itself want to be taken seriously? African sages say a man who beats the drum for a madman also needs to have his head examined. Those who cheer this chap on, especially the shameless donor-funded outfits, are not being sincere here. Small wonder we are in this mess!