CABINET FILES: The benighted are envious, Cdes

CABINET FILES: The benighted are envious, Cdes
President Robert Mugabe

President, Robert Mugabe

Dear Cabinet and Politburo members

COMRADES, I hope you have noticed how some people are pre-disposed to see scandals where none exist. The reaction to some recent appointments, all above board, is a case in point. We have never made a nepotistic appointment. Not one. I dare anyone to gainsay us.
All this talk from the nakedly envious and their uneducated, unqualified hangers-on.
Did they want their poster boy Morgan appointed to those positions?
Education is cheap, but ignorance is costly.
What these people should know is that being uneducated is a choice. If you choose to be uneducated, you have to learn to live with your choices.
As a dear, wise teacher of mine taught us; sow a thought and you reap an action; sow an act and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny. I know, I know. We were to learn later, much later, that this was actually Emerson’s wisdom. Ralph Waldo Emerson. But I digress.
If anything, those people are over qualified for the appointments they have so graciously accepted. The nation should be grateful that we still have, in our midst, highly qualified professionals who are willing to forego opportunities elsewhere and serve the people here.
As in our case, we continue to accept the people’s desire for us to keep doing this thankless job, serving our country.
We could have been employed in better rewarding jobs anywhere on this earth. Is it too much to ask people to appreciate these self-evident sacrifices?
If the knee-jerk critics want to be considered for such appointments in the future, they should go back to school and learn. Learning has no deadline. From the little that we saw of them during the regrettable inclusive government, these people still have a long way to go before they can tell their left from right.
Unfazed by baseless criticism, we will continue to deploy appropriate skills to any position that becomes available.

Kindest Regards
Yours Sincerely
ME

Cde Johannes Tomana

Cde Johannes Tomana

…AND THE NOTEBOOK

Martinmas!
The Notebook was elated by the dismissal of Cde Johannes Tomana from his comfy post as Persecutor — sorry — Prosecutor General. The sages say a fly that does not listen to advice will follow a corpse into the grave. This was the sad story about the brother. When he joined the cult, those of us who had been there and had dismissed ourselves warned him that the path he had decided to follow would lead to regret, but he thought we were jealous of him. He thought the whole world was crazy and only him knew what was good…until his end arrived earlier than he anticipated when he decided to appear professional by trying to think and act professionally in a job that required one to do things as ordered, not as they thought. Surely, how could he set those men free as if he suddenly had regained his conscience as to know that they had not tried to commit the alleged crime? When you are a member of a cult, you are not allowed to use your brains. It is a crime. And a serious one for that matter!
If Cde Tomana was half as independent as he tried to portray himself in his last days in power — sorry — office, he can confirm it by just dropping a book — just one and even a small one — on the road that he journeyed. If he cannot write it himself, The Notebook is available to ghost-write. Just to tell the world what it is like to be inside the fox’s hole. We dare him! It is exactly for this reason that The Notebook was happy that the brother was sent to an early shower… so that he could do what Memory Mucherahowa has just done.
As the Spaniards say, to every pig comes his Martinmas!
Talk talk talk
Last week, 43 people sadly lost their lives when a cross-border bus travelling to Zambia at night was involved in a horrific accident. Scores more were injured.
As a solution to this menace, our government — whose solution to all problems starts and ends with banning — announced that cross border buses would soon be banned from travelling at night! Dear fan, please don’t ask The Notebook what the Statutory Instrument bringing this ban into force would look like and what penalties violators would face. We simply do not know.
We loved it when the president of the Zimbabwe Cross Border Traders Association, Cde Killer Zivhu, threatened to sue the government if it does not put the ban into effect by the end of this month. This is just two weeks away, so we can all be patient, just as we have been patient with everything else.
For as long as we can remember, when such tragedies happen, they present fat opportunities to those people who think they matter to make a show of being concerned about our long-suffering people.
Together with “experts” in this area, they queue up to talk for a few days before they go back to their daily routines. We have heard this from the days of the 1982 Dande bus disaster in which 61 farmers from the Zowa Purchase area perished; again after the 1989 Chivake bus disaster in which another 78 — mostly farmers — died. We heard them again threatening to do something to stop the carnage after the Nyanga bus disaster in which 89, mostly Regina Coeli students, perished… these accidents have been happening again and again, and we have heard these threats being ratcheted over and over, but in reality, nothing really happens. A week or so after the disaster, we are back to our good old ways.
Can someone tell The Notebook what became of the Nyanga bus disaster fund? Or the other two funds set before that?
During those years — not so long ago — when our relatives died of Aids-related illnesses, we would be sober for a week or two before returning to our careless ways. It is the same when these accidents happen. Or when an obese relative dies of a heart attack, or when an uncle is struck by lightening… we make a show of being careful. It is human. Fear and concern are ephemeral…we adapt very quickly.
What The Notebook can assure you is that as this instalment was being penned in the middle of the night, some bus driver was flying past this very same Nyamakate spot where the latest accident happened at a higher speed than the ill-fated Lion King bus.

Zimbabwe Cross Border Traders Association, Cde Killer Zivhu

Zimbabwe Cross Border Traders Association, Cde Killer Zivhu

UnAfrican!
While the people who claim to have liberated us are busy trying to create laws that will criminalise the use of social media, Zimbabweans need to read the following to understand how fast they are receding to the Stone Age:
“Government departments in Namibia have to set up social networking accounts by the end of June, if the Social Media Use Policy before Parliament is adopted. The Social Media Use Policy sets down rules and guidelines on how government departments will use Facebook, Twitter, and WhatsApp to disseminate official information and serve as a platform for engagement.”
According to the policy, the social media accounts will carry policy statements from ministers, governors and other policy makers.
The policy is in line with President Hage Geingob’s Harambee Prosperity Plan that seeks to engender transparency and accountability.
Although the policy document does not spell out any form of possible punishment, it says that government workers “must be taken into consideration when participating in these services at any time, but particularly when identifying themselves as public servants or when the context might lead to that conclusion”.
The policy also says civil servants do not have to seek permission to engage on the social media in their capacity as long as they do not create the impression that whatever they are saying represents the government.
The accounts, the policy says, will serve as the primary source of effective management of information and interaction with the public.
Furthermore, the policy requires each department to respond to questions and complaints raised on the sites within 24 hours.
While the accounts will be interactive, the policy says the government reserves the right to remove comments that inspire hate, racism, tribalism and are sexist.
The policy also warns civil servants to be careful when they post on social media so that the public will not mistake personal opinion for an official position. – Xinhua.
We wonder what our own government ministers would be saying after this. That Namibia is Namibia, this is Zimbabwe?
Impressed
The Notebook was impressed by the following passage, which he came across when he was reading a profile of writer Aaron Chiwundura Moyo in the local press.
“He has stayed at the house since the early 1990s and he does most of his writing from his office in the house. Sometimes he goes to a nearby park to enhance his creativity. Some people see him as a lonely man and others think he swims in poverty, but that is not the case.
“He leads a decent life and is enjoying the fruits of his art. He stays with his son and daughter-in-law at the house and is proud of the way he lives. “The problem with many celebrities is that they live borrowed lives. They put themselves under pressure to keep the celebrity image wherever they go. Most of them end up living out of their means, but I have learnt to live within my means and I am comfortable with my life.
“I interact with people of all classes and backgrounds, although some do not understand me. They see a helpless old man who has wasted his life writing books. Those who visit me get the truth about my lifestyle.””
What stresses many public figures is keeping up appearances.
newsdesk@fingaz.co.zw

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  • wilbert

    The nation will readily accept the bit about Bona being over qualified, she must be!

    After all the years and treasure spent on Bona’s education in the Far East, she must have enough Diplomas, Degrees, PhDs etc. to cover the walls of her new spacious office! No one would dare accuse you sir of nepotism, after all the nation was only spending as much on Bona per year as was been spend on all the UZ students in the same period. We are very grateful for your generosity sir, after all her contribution to the nation is worth a great deal more to the nation than all the UZ students combined!

    • Mjombo

      Hear! Hear!, it is thus proper that the nation reaps its rewards from our lerned daughter.

  • Tachiona Machaka

    Surely learning has never been so simple, with e-learning taking centre stage supported by strong networks. Choosing to remain adamant in this era is tantamount to failing to measure up.

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