Dear Cabinet and Politburo members
COMRADES, like I have always told you that we have defeated our western detractors hands-down, only last week their local errands-boy, Morgan, admitted that he no longer fondles any hopes of winning an election in this country for as long as I am in that race.
I think my unequivocal pronouncements at the just-ended African Union summit — that I am not going anywhere anytime soon — was the final nail to the coffin, so Morgan had to accept defeat.
I am told that shortly after my bold declaration, Morgan called a press conference and then cancelled it because he did not know what he wanted to say, only to call it again after a week, for him to waffle, waffle and waffle, with this twaddle ending with this confession that he has resigned to God and the gods.
I am told that Morgan is becoming so desperate that he is now trying to court those boys that fled from his dictatorial tendencies like this Biti and Mangoma chaps in addition to trying those former members of our party that the people rejected.
Let them try whatever they can, but the position remains that I am not going anywhere anytime soon.
Let me repeat what I said at our sixth Annual National People’s Congress, 2014: “I am here for as long as I am still sane, with good memory and will power. I thank God for giving me extra strength. I still have a bright mind; I still have the will. I know our history more than you do.
“I know the wishes of those heroes and those who lie elsewhere more than you do. I know the wishes of the chiefs, dead and alive.”
… AND DR CZ’S NOTEBOOK
Being the quintessential super-patriot that Dr CZ is, he is currently seized with the task of trying to establish exactly at which point a sadistic personality disorder entered into our national DNA. This is part of Dr CZ’s desperate effort of seeking to understand the way some people in this beloved country behave… this research is an on-going project that might last for as long as Dr CZ lives because there are lots of new case studies unfolding each and every day.
Sadistic personality disorder is a term used to describe individuals who derive untold pleasure from the suffering of others.
From findings that Dr CZ has gathered so far, all indicators are pointing to the fact that if sadism were to be upgraded into an Olympic sporting discipline, Zimbabwe would always dominate the medals podium.
Local and government authorities watch many illegal housing developments mushrooming everywhere — more often than not, not without their tacit encouragement — and wait not only until the desperate home-seekers have invested all their life savings, but also for the most inclement weather conditions to be prevailing, to deploy bulldozers to raze the homes. It should only take the most sadistic person to carry out this.
Another morning, poor villagers are suddenly chased away from the only place they have know for generations as their home because someone dreamt up of either building a dam or setting up a mine and these chases are best carried out in drizzling rain in the middle of the night at a time when the maize crop is at tasselling stage to ensure that these people also suffer in the long term from hunger.
Another morning a government mandarin announces that henceforth, it is now a dead end of the road for any pupil who does not pass their O-Level mathematics because he says so.
A government minister tries to smuggle into the law book changes that increases fines for minor traffic offences from US$20 to US$100 without batting an eye.
There are lots and lots more examples that cannot be explained outside the realms of naked sadism. Remember all this is happening in a country where it is now accepted that a hopelessly drunk motorist who runs over people dead on a busy street gets away with a US$800 fine, while a husband of three wives and father of 15 little children who is found with a dead pangolin or python will end doing jail for nine years without any other option available to him.
This is what happens when sadism becomes an integral part of a nation’s DNA.
Dr CZ is currently reading some of the works of the late Arthur Shearly Cripps (1869-1952), an English Anglican priest, missionary, activist, writer and poet who spent most of his life engaged in running battles with the colonial authorities in Southern Rhodesia where he sided with the thoroughly violated local African population.
From this and the other works that Dr CZ has read, it is quite clear that most of the people from Britain who volunteered for service in the colonial outposts were especially social misfits who fondled wild passions and desires to do the most beastly of things without running afoul of the law.
Rhodesia was one place that presented such fat prospects to mostly these young people with faulty ambitions to make their dream of leading truly riotous lifestyle become a reality.
So in their droves they left Britain for Rhodesia. And for years, after a thorough crossbreeding their different varieties of sadism, they ended up with a hybrid that could hardly be matched by that from anywhere. To show what sort of people made up Rhodesia, although it was the smallest of all British dominions, it contributed the highest number (on a pro-rata basis) to both the First and Second World Wars… while citizens from other countries where going into hiding to avoid conscriptions, Rhodesia was instead putting in place laws to stop skilled and able-bodied men from leaving the country because virtually every men — including grandfathers — wanted to join the war!
This situation was further compounded by the mass arrival of more white perverts from all over the world after the Second World War.
This lot could do anything, anytime, to anyone “inferior” to them without anything ever happening to them.
It is not unusual for children born into a polygamous household — but from different mothers — not to like each other… because more often than not, they are trained to dislike each other…or they grow up seeing nothing better than cruelty at its best. So it becomes part of their “normal” sort of things. It only becomes something else when these children start directing their sadistic tendencies towards their own siblings.
It is under such treatment that most Africans lived and grew up in Rhodesia. Being brutalised became an accepted part of the normal life.
There is a Chinese saying that the best iron is never used to make nails… where Dr CZ found this in Barbara W Tuchman book “Sand Against The Sun”, it was being used to explain away the natural taste for brutality among some people who choose a career in such fields such as the army, the police and such others where one need not have a heart of jelly to effectively perform their day-to-day-duties and still not suffer from mental breakdown. There are people who are born with a Pharaoh-like proclivity for watching other people suffering.
It is not uncommon for people who have endured the most unforgiving of brutality to have serious problems of judgment when it comes to what is right and what is wrong because they themselves would have been to the deepest end.
This seems to appear to be the case in Zimbabwe where some sadistic tendencies appeared to have been passed from one generation to another.
It might have to take the whole country to die in spirit so that it can be born anew with a fresh and clean soul before some of the most bizarre forms of sadism we have witnessed so far are totally exorcised.
As the factional wars rage on in ZANU-PF, Dr CZ is pleased to announce that he is one of those that are enjoying the exchanges… hoping this leads to something better for the overall good of the country.
Dr CZ laughed, when one of the protagonists in the drama, Cde Jonathan Moyo, started casting aspersions at the integrity of some newspapers under the Zimpapers’ stable. This only served to remind us of those jolly good times when during Cde Moyo’s first tenure as information minister when a new form of journalism called “floppy disk journalism” flourished in this country. All some of Dr CZ’s colleagues from the Glass & Mortar Building had to do was to take their floppy disks (then fashionable!) across a few streets, and when they returned with them fully-loaded, all they had to do was to put their by-lines on the articles they had no clue what they were all about!
Now that this is happening to Cde Moyo’s exclusion, the chap thinks it is his democratic right to rave and rant.
As if to twist the knife, we are told that one radio station that has been giving the other people in the fight a platform to excoriate Cde Moyo, invited him for an interview… only to cynically cancel it!
Talk of being hoist by one’s own petard!
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