Dear Cabinet and Politburo members
COMRADES, as we remembered the gallant sons and daughters of the land, I was saddened by the sudden passing on of Cde Shuvai, one of the young and very energetic members of our party on whose back the future of Masvingo province rested. It is such a devastating loss that leaves me pondering over the future of that great, historic province.
It also happened that Cde Emmerson was taken ill after attending our latest, successful youth interface rally and had to be rushed abroad for medical treatment.
These two events sent the uncultured opposition into frenzied speculation … trying to distract attention from the violence that has rocked their party.
They see these very sad developments in our party as handy pegs on which to hang tasteless comparisons between our party and theirs. They started spreading baseless claims that the two ruling party senior members were poisoned as a result of the alleged internecine succession war that is raging within our revolutionary party.
All of you Cdes know that never, in the history of our party, have we tried to solve any disagreements by even the minimal form of violence, let alone killing each other. Never, ever! Which is why our party has not only survived for decades, but keeps growing from strength to strength over the years. All those members of our party who have died in suspicious circumstances have died at the hands of our enemies, not fellow party members.
Why would we kill each other? It is not even possible to think of it! How can one kill in order to get power; kill for power which comes from the people, not from fellow party members? How does that help anyone? Does it even make any sense?
It’s just tasteless talk of a wicked people whose lust for power has taken away all their sense of ubuntu/hunhu! Surely, how can people appear to celebrate the death and sickness of the very same people they have consistently elected into power? After failing to go out to endear themselves with the people, they morbidly hope for the death of those they have failed to defeat in clean electoral contests.
The same people appear to be celebrating the small mishap that happened in my family in South Africa this week … evil people! Where is their humanity?
When Morgan lost his wife, we mourned with him. When he fell sick, we commiserated with him … I even went out of my way to contribute substantially to his medical expenses, yet when something similar happens to us they break into cruel laughter. Evil people! That is why the people will always reject them election after election.
Instead of commiserating with us, these lamebrains started asking silly questions like what my children are doing abroad if I have done the best for this country … they started demanding to know why Cde Emmerson could not trust doctors and medical facilities in a country that he helped to liberate … they started asking a whole lot of silly questions! Aren’t they aware that freedom of choice is one of the values that we fought hard to bring to this country? What a silly lot!
Anyway, they can wish us ill as much as they can, but we will never lose sleep because we know that the God who put us in this position does not even hear their evil prayers.
Only last week, the opposition was pooh-poohing me for attending the inauguration of Iran’s new leader. Just like my trip to the Oceans Summit in South America, they claimed that the trip was a barren one … an ulcerous waste of resources. That is what ignorance does. These people learnt nothing about running a country during the few years that we favoured them with positions in a coalition government. They remain clueless.
Anyone with a midget’s understanding of international relations and international trade will tell you that, just like North Korea, Iran is one of the advanced and progressive countries in the world, which is why the West is trying to sabotage it by imposing illegal sanctions like those they imposed on us. Together with the former Iraq (of Brother Saddam Hussein — may his dear soul rest in eternal peace!) they were so hated by the United States and Britain that George Bush always insulted them as the “Axis of Evil”.
In this age of the Internet, even a primary school child knows that Iran is a big importer of uranium, a resource we have here in infinite quantities, yet our opposition does not see the value of us cultivating a fast friendship with every administration that comes into power in Teheran. Silly fools!
Besides exporting our uranium to Iran, now that we have another massive water body, the Tokwe Mukosi dam, in addition to Kariba, what can stop us from exploring nuclear power … even for defence purposes? Are we not a sovereign nation just like any other? Iran, our all-weather friend, is very good in this area and we can let that expertise rub off on us.
Our friendship with that country, just like that with North Korea, Cuba, China, Russia and other progressive nations of this world, is never founded on my-enemy’s-enemy-is-my-friend foolishness, but on the strategic needs of the country. That is the type of leadership that a true Statesman like myself can bring to a country.
This week when I toured our national shrine to pay homage to departed leaders like Cde Sally, Cde Sabina and others, for the first time ever, I found the place very attractive … I found the graves to be so inviting. Of all things that we have achieved since our independence, I think that monument is the best of them all. It is our crowning achievement.
After the weekend rally, I am now convinced that our party will rule this country until donkeys grow horns like what the late Dr Mzee predicted a long time ago.
Keep on engaging the grassroots while the opposition is busy on social media.
. . . AND THE NOTEBOOK
Wow! It is over! This noise about the heroes and all the foolish people who died for nothing … it is over! At least we can get a fresh breath of air again! These things can be so suffocating with their monotony and the levels to which those who have turned boot-licking into a fine art can go … in addition to the blatant lies that we hear about the history of this country around this time of the year.
Dr CZ loved it when the owners of the country assured the thoroughly frustrated security forces, some of whom were recently engaged in pitched battles on the streets of Harare, that their salaries will be reviewed because there are already signs that the country’s economy is getting out of the woods! Dr CZ is still laughing! He is now convinced that miracles really happen … that we can be together, but living on different planets. There are people in this country who are living on Planet Mars, that Dr CZ can note and endorse!
Having dismissed himself from the ruling party some good 37 years ago, Dr CZ still has lots of good friends in the party, most of whom he fought alongside with during the liberation struggle well, in fact they did most of the fighting themselves, because something always restrained Dr CZ from giving his best; he always had this strange feeling that the whole project was a fraud.
As Dr CZ interacts with these Cdes at events such as we had this week, he feels he is being cruel when he asks them if, in the forum of their own conscience, they can honestly tell themselves that the situation that is obtaining today was worth the sacrifice of the tens of thousands of lives that paid the supreme sacrifice to bring the so-called independence that some of us have to endure, rather than enjoy, to this day.
Most of them simply shake their heads despondently and never give a straight answer. However, a few of them whisper to Dr CZ in strict confidence that they were taken for a ride and actually regret wasting their lives in that war in the first place. They actually envy Dr CZ for avoiding going to the war front where those that had been brainwashed perished like flies, after he had correctly sensed that this was a fraudulent project meant to replace a minority white regime with a black minority regime!
Can someone please tell Cde Advocate Martin Dinha that when a man is placing flowers on graves like he was asked to do at the Mashonaland provincial heroes acre this week, he doffs his hat. Unless he has some fears of things that we don’t know of — like that the tropical sun will make him addle-pated like a majority of those in the top echelons of his party — there are some basics of etiquette that even the totemless are expected to observe.
Still, talking of those who need a lot of hand holding to get them to behave with some semblance of decency expected of them as public officials, as a law maker, Chegutu West legislator, Cde Dexter Nduna, need not be reminded by Dr CZ and other law-biding citizens that it is not the done thing to get your car washed by streets urchins in the Harare central business district in broad daylight in blatant violation of the city’s by-laws.
It does not give the correct impression when a supposed honourable lawmaker decides to be a wanton lawbreaker in full glare of the public. The next time he does it, Dr CZ will not hesitate to effect citizens’ arrest! Let him not claim he was not warned!
Dr CZ is not selfish. He has never been – that is as far as he can judge himself. So, having listened to the increasingly distressed calls of his multitude of fans, he has finally written that book that they have long been waiting for. By this time next week or even this weekend the e-book version of We Died For This Country! will be available on Amazon’s Kindle platform. Few limited copies of the print version of the book will be made available inside three weeks’ time, after which people will be charged with high treason if they continue to complain to Dr CZ about anything. Let no one say they were not warned in advance.