CABINET FILES:Chris dismissed himself, Cdes

CABINET FILES:Chris dismissed himself, Cdes

I did not believe most of the charges levelled against Cde Chris, but if media reports are anything to go by, then here is a fellow who should not be allowed anywhere near our party, let alone our tried and tested war veterans.

Dear Cabinet and Politburo members

COMRADES, while I grudgingly agreed to the majority decision to suspend Chris Mutsvangwa from the party and to recall him from government on the basis of the mischief he committed, his public comments in reaction to the people’s decision only goes a long way to convince me that he indeed is working with the country’s detractors, which naturally means the chap has automatically dismissed himself from the great revolutionary party forever.
I did not believe most of the charges levelled against Cde Chris, but if media reports are anything to go by, then here is a fellow who should not be allowed anywhere near our party, let alone our tried and tested war veterans. Never, ever!
“I have been in Cabinet for a year now. Sadly, this has been the most non-productive 12 months of my life. I am once again out of appointed public office. I can now revert to being more flexible and innovative in what I do best. I love the thrill of global business. The beauty this time is I have a formidable global network. And the rewards can be targeted, so my family can be in the catbird seat. Let the good times begin!” This is what Cde Chris was quoted as saying.
What does this mean? That those of us who have faithfully served the people in government for several decades are fraudsters, who are wheedling salaries from Treasury in return for nothing?
How dare he say that!
I think we should use this chap as an example of what the people can do to anyone who thinks being mischievous can be a rewarding hobby.
Only at the weekend, he was addressing our war veterans with that other rogue chap called Jabulani.
That makes it a deadly concoction, which like I have said, should not be allowed anywhere near our war veterans!
He claims to have known me from the war days, which is very true. He was like that even during the war… too much whiskey and the resultant disputatious talk, but no productive work. That episode of ever-missing women underwear is very true… he was born an opportunist, which explains why I kept him out of my government for several years, hoping he would reform.
You all know that I had to recall him from his ambassadorial duty in China after learning that his falsehoods were becoming a real threat to our otherwise cordial relations with our all-weather friends.
He would lie from all directions of the wind claiming he was speaking on my behalf and the people of Zimbabwe.
This was in addition to his dishonourable deeds at the Zimbabwe Broadcasting Corporation!
He should have looked at the examples set by Cdes like Webster, Nicholas and others, thoroughly remorseful Cdes — who have been filling us up on what our detractors have been up to; real Cdes that we are now seriously considering forgiving and bringing back to party and government.
Meanwhile, I am really shocked that my trip to the Far East to strengthen ties with countries in that region, as part of our Look East Policy, has rattled our detractors into cooking up a whole pot of conspiracy theories. Well, I have better things to do than dignify this mischief with a comment.
The most important thing is that you my Cdes know where I was and what I was doing there. Anyone else can go and hang.

Kindest Regards
Yours Sincerely


As the powers-that-be were making a real show of trying to know what could have happened to the diamond find in Chiadzwa (Marange), as patriotic as he has always been, Dr CZ is willing to volunteer some pointers to those that are making a show of seriously trying to unravel this conundrum. This is what he found in a report published by the Human Rights Watch (HRW) way back in 2009.
“We do not know for sure who the people were who came to work in the diamond fields on certain nights after reaction teams cleared us off the fields. The police we work with in our syndicates told us reaction teams make way for big chefs (senior leaders) in ZANU-PF to dig for diamonds,” one illegal diamond miner told HRW.
“We named a portion of the diamond fields (name withheld) because, on several nights, trucks would go there, and we were told by police that the portion belongs to to …  That portion of land is heavily guarded both by police and by a private security company, which is owned by another senior ZANU-PF official.”
The report added: “In February 2007 police arrested (name withheld) for possession of 1 164 pieces of Marange diamonds and an electric scale used to weigh diamonds. He pleaded guilty in a Harare magistrate court and was convicted and fined for violating the Precious Stones Trade Act.
The HRW report further added: “As a result of internal conflicts within ZANU-PF and infighting over the control of diamonds, some senior ZANU-PF officials have been arrested in connection with diamonds smuggling. For example, a ZANU-PF provincial spokesperson for Harare and senior official within a government ministry, William Nhara, was arrested at Harare  International Airport on March 1, 2007, together with a Lebanese woman, and was charged with attempted bribery and attempting to smuggle suspected Marange diamonds out of Zimbabwe. The two had in their possession diamonds weighing a total of 10 700 carats. The Lebanese woman, Ms Carole Georges El Martni, was convicted of possession and attempting to smuggle diamonds and was fined US$84 000 in September 2007. Nhara died while on remand awaiting trial.”
For the sincere purpose of giving pointers, Dr CZ leaves it here. Let no one quote Dr CZ, for he is just an ordinary messenger. There are several other weighty names listed in this and several other reports, which in their totality gives Dr CZ the impression that the diamond “heist” is not just US$15 billion, but even anything up to US$100 billion! Dear reader, be kind enough as not to ask Dr CZ what that amount of money could have done for this country. When you and I hear the talk of the country being liberated, we have no reason to believe that the country has been liberated indeed!
Dr CZ is really saddened by the gross injustice being visited on his brother Cde Reward Kangai, who this week was sent on forced leave reportedly to facilitate a forensic audit in NetOne’s books to verify if it is indeed true that chap has been rewarding himself over the years.
Assuming these allegations are confirmed, just like any other Zimbo, Dr CZ strongly feels that this is unfair because Cde Kangai could have done nothing wrong by just doing what everybody, who is a quintessential Zimbo, has been doing.
Right now, there are noises about the missing US$15 billion from diamonds, suppose someone somewhere at the top was going to be suspended to facilitate these so-called forensic audits — which are to all intents and purposes mere witch-hunts — wouldn’t that only serve to worsen the situation?
If anything, with the vast experience that he now has in running   a company as big as NetOne, it is high time Cde Kangai is promoted to a Cabinet minister.

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  • gutter poet

    “..the country has been liberated indeed” Need anybody say more?

  • Department 6

    i think the president should name the looters of $15b…..

  • Yadah Gunner

    If the country lost $15bn, then those who stole the money must be arrested.We want action….Cz says its $100bn…

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