CABINET FILES: God will surely punish this abomination, Cdes

CABINET FILES: God will surely punish this abomination, Cdes
Former president and first lady Robert and Grace Mugabe yesterday arrive for the official opening of the Zanu-PF 2016 Annual People's Conference in Masvingo.(Picture by Eliah Saushoma)

Former president and first lady Robert and Grace Mugabe yesterday arrive for the official opening of the Zanu-PF 2016 Annual People’s Conference in Masvingo.(Picture by Eliah Saushoma)

MY former comrades, I notice that you went ahead with your sham congress where you endorsed the unconstitutional and patently criminal activities that you hired some rogue elements in the people’s army to help you undertake. As far as I am concerned, it was a non-event.
While you are making all efforts to make it appear like it was not a coup, the world knows that it was certainly one and you also know this in the private forum of your own conscience, that is if you still have any.
I am here in the Far East enjoying myself this festive season, but my main fear is for the people because from my knowledge as an elder, it should not come as a surprise at all if it does not rain for the next several years because there is no way God and the gods would not punish such an unforgivable abomination! And when this happens, it is sadly the people — my people for that matter — who will suffer the most.
I am told that the price of bread went up this week before it was artificially suppressed. This is just the beginning of many things to come. I was ruling as a democratically elected leader and the people will now see the difference between civilian and military rule. It pains me to see the country that I worked so hard to build being destroyed so fast like this.
I remain inconsolable.
Anyway, all hope is not lost. There is still a chance that those behind this mischief could come back to their senses and reverse all this. I will try to intercede for the people in my prayers over this festive period. I remain hopeful.

My kindest Regards
Your One and Only


Dr CZ is happy that he was not too excited as to rush to communicate his intention to return to ZANU-PF, the party that he dismissed himself from more than 35 years ago, because indications on the ground now seem to show that even after the recent changes, it looks like the more things appear to be changing, the more they remain the same… if not getting worse.
Anyway, as a former ZIPRA combatant, Dr CZ is pleased that finally one of his commanders, Cde Phillip Valerio Sibanda has made history by rising to become the commander of the Zimbabwe Defence Forces. At least it makes those sclerotic tribalists, who have been complaining bitterly that the only development that Matabeleland has seen in the past 20 years was the attempted construction of a donkey abattoir in Bulawayo, see this as an attempt by the owners of the country to remember them.
With Operation Restore Legacy (please be kind never to ask Dr CZ what legacy was ever there to restore in the first place!) reportedly having ended with the ZANU-PF extraordinary congress and the purported return of the military to the barracks we hope and pray that hope will eventually be restored to the millions of Zimbos that have long forgotten how to laugh.
Dr CZ ends the year by sharing, below, some of the things that his many fans shared with him throughout the eventful year.

New Zimbabwe Defence Forces Commander at Josiah Magama Tongogara Barracks, General Philip Valerio Sibanda

New Zimbabwe Defence Forces Commander, General Philip Valerio Sibanda

Beautiful 10 lines
Someone wrote these 10 beautiful lines that Dr CZ’s fans read and tried to understand their deeper meaning.
1. Prayer is not a “spare wheel” that one pulls out when in trouble, but it is a “steering wheel” that direct the right path throughout life.
2. Why is a car’s windshield so large and the rear view mirror so small? Because our past is not as important as our future, so look ahead and move on.
3. Friendship is like a book. It takes a few seconds to burn, but it takes many years to write.
4. All things in life are temporary. If they are going well, enjoy them, they will not last forever. If they are going wrong, don’t worry, they can’t last forever either. 
5. Old friends are gold! New friends are diamond! If you get diamond, don’t forget the gold. To hold a diamond, you always need a base of gold! 
6. Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, God smiles from above and says: “Relax, sweetheart, it’s just a bend, not an end!” 
7. When God solves your problems, you have faith in His abilities; when God doesn’t solve your problems, he has faith in your abilities.
8. A blind person asked God: “Can there be anything worse than losing eyesight?” He replied: “Yes, losing your vision!” 
9. When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them and sometimes when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you! 
10. Worrying doesn’t take away tomorrow’s troubles; it takes away today’s peace.

Quarrels destroy mankind
A FARMER in ancient China had a neighbour who was a hunter, and who owned ferocious, but poorly trained hunting dogs.
They jumped over the fence frequently and chased the farmer’s lambs. The farmer asked his neighbour to keep his dogs in check, but this fell on deaf ears.
One day the dogs again jumped the fence, attacked and severely injured several of the lambs.
The farmer had enough of his neighbours negligence. He ‎went to town to consult a judge who listened carefully to the story and said: “I could punish the hunter and instruct him to keep his dogs chained or lock them up. But you would lose a friend and gain an enemy. Which would you rather have, friend or foe for a neighbour?” The farmer replied that he preferred a friend. “Alright, I will offer you a solution that keeps your lambs safe, and which will keep your neighbour as a friend.”
Having heard the judge’s solution, the farmer agreed. Once at home, the farmer immediately put the judge’s suggestions to the test.
He took three of his best lambs and presented them to his neighbour’s three small sons, who were overjoyed to receive such lovely pets and began to play with them.
To protect his sons newly acquired playthings, the hunter built a strong kennel for his dogs. Since then, the dogs never again bothered the farmer’s lambs.
Out of gratitude for the farmer’s generosity toward his sons, the hunter often shared the game he had hunted with the farmer.
The farmer reciprocated by sending the hunter, lamb meat and cheese he had made. Within a short time, the neighbours became good friends. A saying in old China went something like this: “One can win over and influence people the best with gestures of kindness and compassion.”
There is another similar Western saying: “One catches more flies with honey than with vinegar.” And: “Do you know what is better than charity and fasting and prayer? It is keeping peace and good relations between people, as quarrels and bad feelings destroy mankind.”
Kindness and compassion are signs of faith. Let us make it a part of us to be polite when we speak and not make rude remarks and bring people down with our words at every opportunity we get, especially with our families, friends and colleagues.

Zimbabwe Republic Police commissioner general Augustine Chihuri

Augustine Chihuri

Testing for gossip
IN ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said: “Do you know what I just heard about your friend?”
“Hold on a minute,” Socrates replied. “Before telling me anything, I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test.”
“Triple filter?”
“That’s right,” Socrates continued. “Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you’re going to say. That’s why I call it the triple filter test. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”
“No,” the man said: “Actually I just heard about it and …”
“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?”
“No, on the contrary…”
“So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about him, but you’re not certain it’s true. You may still pass the test though, because there’s one filter left: The filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?”
“No, not really …”
“Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?”  
Imagine a world where we are all using this test!

MANY hundreds of years ago in a small Italian town, a merchant had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to the moneylender. 
The moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the merchant’s beautiful daughter so he proposed a bargain.
He said he would forgo the merchant’s debt if he could marry the daughter. Both the merchant and his daughter were horrified by the proposal.
The moneylender told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty bag.
The girl would then have to pick one pebble from the bag. If she picked the black pebble, she would become the moneylender’s wife and her father’s debt would be forgiven. 
If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father’s debt would still be forgiven. 
But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail.
They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the merchant’s garden. 
As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. 
As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. 
He then asked the girl to pick her pebble from the bag.
What would you have done if you were the girl? 
If you had to advise her, what would you have told her?
 Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:
1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.
2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the moneylender as a cheat.
3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from his debt and imprisonment.
The above story is used with the hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral and logical thinking.
The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble.
Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.
“Oh, how clumsy of me,” she said. “But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked.” Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had picked the white one.
 And since the moneylender dared not admit his dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into an advantageous one.
The professional cheat had been beaten at his own game by a quick thinking young girl.
Moral of the story: Most seemingly complex problems do have a solution, sometimes we have to think about them in a different way.

“A MAN who calls his kinsmen to a feast does not do so to redeem them from starving. They all have food in their own houses. When we gather together in the moonlight village ground, it is not because of the moon.
Every man can see it in his own compound. We come together because it is good for kinsmen to do so. Let us find time to come together physically and enjoy the power of togetherness.
Let’s smile not because we don’t have problems but because we are stronger than the problems.
These were words of wisdom from the great African wordsmith, the late Chinua Achebe. May Dr CZ’s fans enjoy a merry festive season and happy holidays.

  • Jacques Untel

    Operation Restore Lunacy seems well under way. MERRY CHRISTMAS to Dr CZ and the Zimbabwean people

    • Naison

      hahahahaha cant wait for 2018. Aya Jacques Untel u made me laugh

  • Mandla Kumalo

    Has anyone seen Grace Mugabe lately is she even in Zimbabwe?

  • Cilfford Banda

    Dr CZI can you tell us what chaps at CZI are smoking. They are now filled with the Gono mentality of wanting to see money printed without any production to support its value

  • Simba

    Operation Restore Legacy ended too soon, who needs the police in Zim. They are a bunch of corrupt monkeys

  • James King

    From January plz forget about that Mugabe person, we no-longer want to hear or know what he and his wife will be up to. Please tell us whats in ED’s mind and is plans for the economy of Zim

  • Buddy Love

    Judass Kiss that will bring bad luck on his to wish that clan anything positive

  • Qaqamba Mpengesi

    Um….Cde CZ, if, as you regularly remind readers of this column, you sacked yourself from Zanu PF in 1982, then surely it is very unlikely or almost impossible you are an ex-ZPRA freedom fighter as you claim !!

  • Metropolitan Loita

    Grace Mugabe and Augustine Chihuri, two useless individuals. Go and die you two

  • Lovemore

    Robert Mugabe must be missing Sally more now since her death in January 1992. The witch she married later ruined his legacy. GisGrace. Still wonder how she married a mad woman. Everyone from her clan know she is mad, it runs in the family

  • Tavaka Zhou

    What happens now Dr CZ with regards to our usual Cabinet Files seeing that after the coup-not-coup you are no longer attending cabinet meetings? Please continue with this for I have been waiting for all Thursdays since you started penning it.
    Wishing you a restful festive season in the Far East….lol

  • Cde Rhany D

    Go home CZ. Madness is your only way.

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