CABINET FILES WITH CZ
Dear Cabinet and
Politburo members
COMRADES, we have managed to beat our imperialist enemies hands down once again.
The KP meeting in Russia left them with no choice but to give in to our demands…they realised that we meant business when we said we were going to sell out gems with or without their certification. I am happy that after successful lobbying, many other African countries were threatening to pull out of that KP nonsense if we were not allowed to do what we wanted with our diamonds.
This should be the end of those illegal sanctions against us…how else would they try to control us? If we managed to survive all these years without any money worth talking of, what about now, that we will be controlling a quarter of the world’s lucrative diamond trade market? Give us just a few months from today…and see what this country would be like. I can assure you that by Christmas time this year Zimbabwe would be fast becoming a land of milk and honey again. God and the gods really work in wonderful ways…where were all these diamonds when we were being twisted and toasted around? Imagine if we had discovered them in 1980!
And now we should deal with the issue of this little company that is making noises about claims — an infinitesimal fraction of the Chiadzwa fields.
Cde Obert, maybe you would look at what the company is offering and possibly also look at the suggestion that this Biti fellow hazarded. He can’t wait for the diamond cash to do his mathematics at the Finance Ministry…when he came making crazy and absurd promises to the civil servants and others he thought it was all about eating sadza!
Anyway Cdes, we should not lose focus…we should as a party make the best of this God-given gift to regain control of the country that was fast-slipping out of control. I knew it would never happen!
Well, about the jingles that our resourceful political commissar Cde Webster has just launched, I don’t see how they violate the GPA as Morgan and his acolytes would like us to believe…all the songs on that CD are just happy songs celebrating the successes of the party and off course the realities of life. So if anyone would decide to feel offended by those harmless jingles, then it is their own problem….how many things do they do that offend us?
Well, at the weekend I had to attend the Johane Masowe pass-over gathering in Marange…I think that was more sensible of me…that was a gathering of more than 200 000 people — reminds me of my days in the run-up to the 1980 elections — that I had to address there. And this was more important than attending some little wedding in the capital. See, there are people who think I snubbed Morgan, they can say whatever they want. Anyway, how many weddings and other family gatherings have I organised myself that he has attended himself? Including my own birthday which is a national event celebrated throughout the country? KwaZvimba anokuziva here? So what responsibility did I have to attend his daughter’s wedding? At least I was civilised enough to send a present!
Kindest Regards
Yours Sincerely
ME
AND NOW THE NOTEBOOK
Madness?
Well, a lot of movement —can we call it Umfecane? —seem to be happening at Harvest House…and at the Prime Minister’s Office too…or so we are told. After the dismissal of those ministers, we are now told that more are on the firing line, including the PM’s very own spokesman, James Maridadi.
Harareans and their gossip! This week some were swearing that the reason Maridadi is being recalled has something to do with office affairs…blah, blah.
No one is suggesting that there is any grain of truth in these tendentious allegations but remember upon his surprise appointment to the post CZ questioned the PM’s choice? CZ sincerely asked at the time if the randy brother — who had pending adultery-related court cases — had been through a rehab like the one Tiger Woods recently went through?
Well, CZ thinks if the PM is serious about his purges, he will not confine himself to piddling nobodies…while he fears others. He would have to take action across the whole spectrum. Theresa Makone is a case in point this time again. When the whole world was fixated with threats of possible xenophobic attacks in South Africa where millions of Zimbabweans are living and working, she thought she was being funny when she joined Kembo Mohadi to plead ignorance about this grave situation! We hope she was misquoted!
wa in police cells at Matapi!
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