CABINET FILES WITH CZ
Dear Cabinet and
Politburo members
COMRADES I know many of you were also taken aback last week when you heard that some mischief-makers in the inclusive government had written to me demanding that the late Gibson Sibanda be declared a national hero.
National hero? My foot! As if they had run short of so-called outstanding GPA issues, they huddled together and agreed to test the waters…and I had to be curt and firm in my response…I knew they did not mean it, but just wanted to make a scene from this sad moment. They knew it that their colleague was not and would have never been a hero and also that all of them would never be heroes, but they still decided that it was worth trying, and try they did. Because I knew that they were just trying, I made sure I did not dignify their mischief by giving it too much thought…I just dismissed it with the utmost contempt it deserved!
Cdes, you and I know for a fact that this hero issue is no laughing matter…a lot of blood was shed for this country to be what it is today, yet some people would have the gall of trying to trivialise it by coming up with some frivolous suggestions! Some of us were pleased with this gift of foresight, we knew that with time this would happen, that is the reason we made the conferment of hero status the sole prerogative of our great revolutionary party…our party has a history, and people who are honoured with hero status should have a history, but how can parties with no history become useful when it comes to deciding who is a hero and who is not?
There are many people who sacrificed a lot for the liberation of this country, quite too many to mention, but could not make it even to provincial shrines because they lost it somewhere along the way. For one to be a hero, they have to be consistent right through to the end.
How can someone be made a national hero for trying to return the country back to imperialist? For inviting sanctions to the motherland? For putting money ahead of the revolution? This is not what our type of hero is like…if we would allow that to happen, we would be setting a very wrong precedent…what will we be teaching our children?
Even myself, if I sell-out right at this point in time, no matter how much I have done for this country, I might lose my place at the Heroes Acre…this is what these people don’t know.
They think we have reserved that place for our friends and relatives only, when that is not the case. Let a true hero die today, irrespective of their political affiliations, our politburo will recognise them as heroes. There is no doubt about it! That is the reason why some of the people who today rest at the national shrine were never members of ZANU-PF!
Let them say whatever they want, nothing will ever make sell-out heroes in this country!
Kindest Regards
Yours Sincerely
ME
AND NOW TO THE NOTEBOOK
Zero
CZ seriously thinks that the best way to solve the ever-raging dispute about who is a hero in this country and who is not is to do away with this culture that brought this idea of a heroes acre in the first place.
CZ for one believes that if a person dies, that is the end of it, it is of no use trying to honour and worship them in whatever form and shape because that would not change the fact that they are forever dead. So what’s all this fuss about heroes and heroines? As a nation we get bogged down with such trivialities that we start looking like a nation of noisy makers.
They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, since political affiliation also plays a big part in this noise, the debate will never end…it will become a chicken and egg story of some sort.
Sweet lucre!
We loved it when fed-up western donors told Munyaradzi Paul Mangwana & Co from this COPAC that the outfit should turn to Russian and China for the extra budget to fund its outreach programme! And the reaction by Mangwana was quite a mouthful: “This country was not built by donors. We will find a way of financing the constitution. If the worst comes to the worst we will sell our diamonds. The donors told us to ask China and Russia for money and we are doing just that.”
So does it mean that the donors are out of our high-sounding project? That they will have no truck at all with the referendum that this country would be having in the unlikely event that the outreaches come to an end?
We just wonder what else the donors will be cutting back on, but they are also partly to blame…they are foolish! Did not they notice right from the very word go that we just wanted to wheedle some cash from the West to compensate for the illegal sanctions they imposed on us…and we did that with surprising ease! After sinking tens of millions to fund huge bush allowances for thousands of pretenders who were busy faking seriousness, they seem to be realising that this project is threatening to run ad infinitum, and no draft constitution is coming anywhere anytime soon. And that should be what made them so livid! Anyway who cares? We did not force them to bankroll this project— and as Mumbengegwi would put it “if they had not imposed their illegal sanctions, we would be in a position to meet the costs on our own”!
Powers!
Another man gang-raped in Chinhoyi! What this country will see surely wears a hat! Are these the signs that the threatened second coming of the Son of Man is near? We just wonder! Yours truly is now scared that anytime he could allow himself to fall victim!
Please don’t quote CZ on this one! One bar-mate whispered into CZ’s ear that this is the work of some female politicians and women rights activists…some dubious n’angas are telling them that if they subdue a man, and or FORCIBLY drain his manly fluids away — and mix them with some muti — the results would be wonderful! They would end up being head and shoulder above their peers — and even some men —because they would have acquired those Eucharistic all-important manly properties!
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The second coming of the Son of Man is not threatened. It is real. Ignore that at your own peril. And yes, it is there in the Word kuti kana moona izvi zvoitika....