What’s Love Got To Do With It?
While many men struggle with honouring the ‘in sickness and in health’ and the ‘forsaking all others’ vows in marriage, they are not the only ones who fall short on the promises that are supposed to bind for a lifetime. Some women on the other hand find themselves floundering and tripping on the “for richer or for poorer” part of the vows. Unfortunately that six-letter word — ‘poorer’ — can throw a whole marriage contract into disarray.
Of course nobody goes into marriage expecting to get poorer. But as much as we may hate to admit it, some of our womenfolk get into marriages and other unions with dollar signs in their eyes, such that should the money no longer materialise in the relationship, “love” quickly evaporates before either one of the couple can say the word divorce.
Sometimes it gets very difficult for a man to know whether a woman wants him for him or for what he has in his wallet or bank. For a number of marriages that are based on material gain, the day the man goes broke or loses his job marks the end of that union.
I know a couple who married when the man was high flying at the top of some company back in the 90s. Their home was like a small paradise with top of the range furniture adorning the house and pantries kept like mini grocery stores choking with foodstuffs. To complete the picture was a seemingly loving and devoted wife and respectful children backing this oh so very successful man. But, you see, that was before the day the dough disappeared! Some years later in the early 2000s, when Zimbabwe started to be what it is now — economically difficult, hard on the pocket and even harder on love — the husband was retrenched and in what feels like an ‘overnight development’, the man ceased to the be the ‘man’ in that household as the wife with the speed of lightning usurped all his ‘powers and privileges’. She stopped cooking for him, stopped doing his laundry, and even withdrew all conjugal rights with instant effect. What is more is that she even instructed all their four children to stop taking any instructions from or running errands and chores for their father. Her reasoning? Why should he be treated like a husband and father anymore when he no longer brought in the dough. The day the dough stops rolling in is the day love, or the semblance of love rather, freezes, and many a man can testify that temperatures can run at sub zero when such unfortunate events occur in their homes.
While men should provide for their families as much as they can, it is very unfortunate when that function of “showing the money” becomes the sole determinant of whether or not a relationship survives. When hard times hit, couples should be there for each other as they try and map out their next source of their livelihood. Without excusing loafers and other men who free-load off of their women deliberately without making any genuine effort to fend for their women and children, really love should be the foundation of marriages for them to last and weather trials and tribulations that may come up. Love should be the foundation, yes. And then true: a man should be seen to be trying his best to provide. Be that as it may, it is something to think about before putting a ring on it, whether the owner of that finger loves you for you or for what you have. And you know riches come and go.
But of course, some men get what’s coming to them! If you are a man who uses money to attract and keep women, then I suppose you have no one but yourself to blame when the inevitable happens! If money is your attraction tool of choice, then you better make sure you will always be in a position to brandish it, should she say ‘show me the money’ till death do you part. Or else!
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