FOUNDING FATHER’S MEMOIRS: I reported the junta to the AU, Cdes

FOUNDING FATHER’S MEMOIRS: I reported the junta to the AU, Cdes
I turned 94 years yesterday cdes, six left to reach 100.

‘I turned 94 years yesterday cdes, six left to reach 100’.

MY dear Cdes, you can take heart. This week the junta-boy made his first mistake of allowing the chairman of the African Union, Brother Moussa Faki, to meet me and I took the opportunity to confirm to him that indeed I was removed from power through a military coup.
You see Cdes, after our New Patriotic Front wrote to the Southern African Development Community (SADC) and the African Union (AU) about the illegality that is now obtaining in our country, the AU responded by promptly sending a fact-finding mission to Harare. After the junta-boy tried to divert the mission by waffling to it about the country’s readiness to hold “free, fair and credible elections” later this year, he, however, could not stop them from meeting me. Not meeting me would have made their mission a nullity because we are the ones that registered a complaint with the bloc and naturally they had to hear it straight from the horse’s mouth, so to speak. So I took the opportunity to explain to the commissioners what happened in November last year and how I have been under house arrest since then. For the record, this high-powered delegation was not here to find out the country’s preparedness for elections, but to get facts as to what really happened in November last year… whether power transferred hands in a democratic way. So this waffle by the junta-boy about elections was noise to the commissioners’ ears. So they got the facts from me. There was no way the junta-boy could bar the delegation from meeting me without raising eyebrows. So he had no choice, but to let me meet them and I naturally made the best of the opportunity.
You are all aware that this junta has since captured SADC, so it is now incapacitated to do anything. Just see how last week Brother Jacob Zuma, a quintessential democrat like myself, was also unconstitutionally removed from office in a similar fashion! SADC is now a toothless bulldog!
I am glad that the AU has remained true to its founding principles. The commissioners assured me that they will shortly be issuing a strongly-worded statement condemning the coup and demanding that there be restoration of a constitutionally elected government in this country, failure of which the union’s stand-by force may have to be used to restore the country to democracy.
More importantly, I also made it very clear to the delegation that should the bloc do nothing about the illegality in this country, I shall be demanding the US$1 million (from the sale of my 300 cattle) that I contributed to the body last year in my personal capacity because — as a founding member and former chairman myself — I trusted it to do the right thing always.
I am ready saddened by the death of my brother Morgan last week. This is the work of this junta. You Cdes know what happened, don’t you? I am even beginning to fear for my own life because they can also do me in in the same cruel way.
Just watching the number of people that attended Morgan’s burial made me understand why things went the way they did for me in the March 2008 harmonised elections.
Anyway, we should thank Morgan for clearing the way towards a democratic Zimbabwe that we are now all walking. He was one of those people that I would not hesitate to describe as amadoda sibili for he was really a man and a half. Had it not been for this junta, I would have made him a national hero. He is my hero anyway. May his dear soul rest in eternal peace.
Last, but not least, I was very happy that the purported public holiday in my honour was a huge flop. It just goes to show how unpopular this regime really is!

Kindest Regards
Your One and Only Leader


Good riddance

REPORTS suggest that former president Robert Mugabe told visiting African Union officials that the military removed him from power. We hope this is not true because this is no longer news since everyone knows that and the country has since moved from that piece of history. Instead, he should have started by telling the same AU officials what role the same military played in his unwelcome stay in power, especially in the aftermath of the calamity of the March 2008 harmonised elections. After that, he should then have explained to them why his own people turned against him and after that why no one, both locally and abroad, sympathised with him.
Leadership is about making the lives of your people better. He should come down from planet Mars where he has been domiciled for too long and accept the hard reality that, by failing to do that simple task for an extended period of time, he squandered his moral authority to remain in power. Even to any half-decent leader, Mugabe’s rule was a cautionary tale, not an instruction manual. So how he left power is a story for another day. To Zimbos, this was a welcome good riddance to bad rubbish! Let him know that!

THE passing on of veteran opposition leader, Morgan Tsvangirai, who succumbed to cancer, saddened Dr CZ. Tsvangirai changed the complexion of the country’s politics and he naturally deserves a permanent place in the pages of the country’s history books. Like him or hate him, the man had what most people who dream of becoming leaders woefully lack… courage and determination. It is those qualities that earned him the admiration of millions across the world. Many dreamers remain just that, but Tsvangirai was different in that he embodied this quality together with pragmatism, which made him that politician who did not just pursue power for the sake of it. Where actualities on the ground required caution, he exercised it, even to the chagrin of his heated up followers, who were ready to sacrifice themselves for him and his cause. Many leaders would not do it. After he invested his life the way he did, democracy in this country will never be the same again. For that he deserved the respect of all civilised people. May his dear soul rest in eternal peace.

DR CZ has never trusted politicians. His experience with Robert Mugabe, which experience saw Yours Truly resigning from ZANU-PF on June 2, 1982, informed this decision and ever since he has never remotely trusted any animal with some political instincts. It is because of this weakness that Dr CZ fears about the future of this country in light of the uncouth way the new MDC leader, Nelson Chamisa, is taking power. When you have young people of his generation and education behaving like that, one should naturally worry about the future of a country. If he is lucky to win elections and become the president of this country, what will stop him from using those same uncouth methods to keep himself in power, including using the militia to demolish dissention? He may turn out to be worse than Robert Mugabe.
Many people are at a loss as to whether to condemn or commend Chamisa over the power grab. This is different from the case when the new owners of the country grabbed power from Mugabe when everyone cheered them on because everyone was sick and tired. This time around it is different.
Some years ago Dr CZ had the privilege of exploring liberal politics at the Theodor Heuss Akademie, Gummersbach, Germany. It was a study trip that saw Dr CZ touring Adolf Hitler’s Buchenwald Concentration Camp among other places. The experience served to open Dr CZ’s eyes to the evil that human beings can do in their quest for power and what more they can do after getting that power. This then makes Dr CZ shudder to think what sort of leadership Chamisa would give this country.
His recent moves confirm Chamisa as a very good Africa politician. Africa politics has no scruples or morals. It is not for the faint-hearted or the decent.
Joshua Nkomo tried to be nice-nice and what became of him? That is what Elias Mudzuri, Thokozani Khupe and company are busy trying to repeat. Politics has no morals or hygiene; they don’t call it a dirty game for nothing.
It was exactly because of this that upon returning home — where stone age politics is still practised — that Dr CZ was pragmatic enough to know that he had no place in politics. A very close relative who had made his fortune moonlighting as a member of Ndabaningi Sithole’s ZANU (Ndonga) tried to persuade him into just joining the bandwagon for the rich pickings… but as someone who has never done things motivated by money, Dr CZ refused. Sadly, there are too many people who join politics, not because they want to serve anyone, but to fatten their back pockets… too many of them. We are sure even if they may achieve a fraction of what Tsvangirai accomplished, and also a portion of the money that passed through his hands, they will be more than happy. Still on opportunism, it is debatable whether or not Tsvangirai got carried away and forgot the people that he was supposed to take to the proverbial Canaan on the way… in the process betraying people like Dr CZ’s friend Vimbai Mbisva, Tonderai Ndira, Tichaona Chiminya, Talent Mabika and hundreds other who watered the seed of freedom with their own blood and sweat.
Anyway, when we have finished our little debates and worries, God will have the final say as to who He wants to rule in this country.

DR CZ was made sick by the showers of praise that were heaped on the new owners of the country for showing their human face in the face of the death of MDC-T leader, Morgan Tsvangirai. There are those Zimbos who are so gullible that they saw this as sincere gesture of goodwill on the part of those doing it when anyone who knows their true character should know that their hearts were smiling with unspeakable joy. For starters, that is taxpayers’ money, not private loot, so why should an individual be worshipped over that? These are the very same people who had wished him dead for many years: The man who was the proverbial thorn in their flesh had thankfully died, so what would stop them from shedding crocodile tears? Remember Tsvangirai won the elections in 2008 and they wanted to kill him for that? We laughed when we heard them saying they respected him for his effort to democratise the country… who was responsible for that shortage of democracy in the first place? Remember a dictatorship is not a one-man affair. A dictatorship is a comprehensive system that controls every aspect of life in a society and that certainly takes lots of people, each playing their evil role. The question should be: Who played what role in fouling the democratic atmosphere over these years and what has since changed about them?
If the last medical bill for Tsvangirai was really R2 millions,(Dr CZ once read a book by Olivia Goldsmith in which a respectable lawyer had what he described as creative way of billing customers that were more than able to pay!), then we can only wonder how much is going to Singapore. Surely that could have gone a long way in transforming our ailing health sector.


  • Jacques Untel

    Posting only the first two paragraphs of the column to get people like me to buy the paper won’t help, because I live overseas, nowhere here to buy it.

    • Munashe

      You can say that again. They will soon realise they have lost traffic to the website which will turn into reduced advertising revenue flows.

    • King Marlon

      Sure please erect a paywall a.s.a.p do you want us to read the Herald or ZBC. Some of us in Canada rely on Fingaz website for news not forgetting Daily News and ZimInd

    • ISO-Certified Patriot

      Why don’t they just start a subscription service. Coz I am sure most of the people who read this newspaper online are overseas. I would be happy to pay my $8 every month to read the full paper. Where ever can we buy hardcopies overseas?

      • Jacques Untel

        I don’t think they could afford to print and mail hard copies to overseas subscribers for $8 per month. And even if they did, you’d get your copy 6-8 weeks after the issue date…if you got it at all!

        • Zuze

          He means online subscription dummy.

  • mbaimbai

    Makaoma all because you want us to buy the pink paper the read the Dr CZ . I can fore go thanks

  • Mandla

    The AU nolonger take you serious Cde, you have become a disgrace to the whole world

  • Gabarinocheka

    Kkkkkkk Robert wakuitawo semunhu asina kuenda kuchikoro uye semwana mudiki wawaka mangarira ndiani apa urikuudza ani zvozodiii futi. Garai kumba Gushungo muri ziiiiiiiiii. Musaita kanakufunga zvisina maturo muri munhu mukuru. Muuye kuma Elections muvhotere musangano uwhine mese nemhuri yenyu.

  • Beryl Neilson

    do you really think this will get you to sell more papers? What about all the people in the diaspora,there are thousands of them out there.Also many people in this country cannot afford to buy the paper but do have access to the internet. What you are doing is forcing people to read the Zimbabwe Independent and just forget about the Financial Gazette.

  • Farai Gamu

    So amazing this 94 year old man thinks Zimbabweans still love him. I challenge him to spend just 30m walking in first street with no body guards and he will appreciate that what happened last November should have happened in 2009

  • Kutonga Kwaro

    Sad the only man thinks Zimboz love him. You are lost kule

  • Nomusa Garikai

    @ CZ

    “Last, but not least, I was very happy that the purported public holiday in my honour was a huge flop. It just goes to show how unpopular this regime really is!” you said.

    That was priceless, you blame everything that goes wrong on everyone else but never yourself – you are perfect to be guilt of any wrong!

    Well as much as the nation dislike the “Junta -boy”, as you call Mnangagwa, they are truly grateful to him for one thing – booting you out of office. If the AU should even try to be supportive of you CZ then the continental body would have done the Junta-boy the greatest service ever, assure him a landslide victory without the need for him to rig even one vote!

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