FOUNDING FATHERS MEMOIRS: The junta is seizing my airline, Cdes

FOUNDING FATHERS MEMOIRS: The junta is seizing my airline, Cdes
Former president Robert Mugabe

Former president Robert Mugabe

My dear Comrades, I am very, very angry! I am very angry about the way the junta-boy and the criminals around him are treating me … despite being a good-natured and patient Christian, this is getting beyond what I can tolerate. That I can tell you! The gang staged a coup and grabbed power from me in November and I was put under house arrest.

I thought that was what they wanted and they were done with me. But I am surprised that the criminal gang is now making serious moves to seize a nascent private airline from me.  I cannot believe it! Even Smith never treated me this badly! Surely, having invested all my life savings into a business that my son-in-law identified for me as one that would assure me of a good retirement, in the same way many people invest in the Kombi business ― this was my own version of the Kombi business ― suddenly the criminal vultures are circling around the business. It will not be because if it means dying fighting, this is worth dying fighting for. I am really ready to die fighting for my family airline. Who doesn’t know that the government of this junta-boy is too broke to afford four planes at one go? Only disciplined private citizens like me, who are able to pool their resources like I did with my family members, are able to make such an investment. Then you hear some people claiming that the planes, with personalised registration numbers, belong to the same broke government! Nxaaaa! I hope it was a joke and it will remain such! He-eh Zimbabwe is open for business; he-eh Zimbabwe is open for business blah, blah when the country is run in this mafia-style?
I am too angry to address you on any political issues this week. Just continue with the groundwork that you are doing. Iwe neni tine basa! Wena lami silomusebenzi!
Kindest Regards
Your One and Only Leader
ME

Barren Independence!
THIS week Zimbos were made to “celebrate” Independence with nothing to show for it. What that independence brought was just a change of faces and a chance to experience things getting from bad to worse. The success of any organisation or country depends on the quality of its leadership. If a country has sorry apologies for leaders as in our case, where only excuses are what they can produce in jaw-dropping quantities, what can you expect?
After reluctantly signing the Lancaster House agreement in December 1979, Ian Smith boldly pointed out that the future of the new country would largely depend on the white component of its population. That was rude, rude and rude because the connotations of these obviously racist sentiments were that there was something inherently wrong with black people. In 1961, Andrew Cavendish (Duke of Devonshire), junior British secretary for Commonwealth Relations told nationalist leader Joshua Nkomo that Southern Rhodesia could not be given independence because its economy was too complicated for untrained black African hands to handle.
So when Zimbabwe finally got its independence in 1980, the challenge was for the new owners to prove such racists like Smith and Cavendish dangerously wrong. When we look at the economic ruins that are now all over, including a lack in basics like a currency, one really wonders to what extent have the black leaders managed to defend the black African from such insults. All we are good at is to wear scarfs that only serve to make us look like scarecrows. Instead of making a show of celebrating, we rather should be collectively bowing our addle-pated heads in shame!
President Emmerson Mnangagwa

President Emmerson Mnangagwa

Excuse selves!
LAST week the new owners of the country were in China where their detractors credibly claim they had gone to finalise their election shopping under the guise of pursuing bilateral trade agreements. From the media coverage of the event, we saw them giving one excuse after another… the common one being that the country has been under illegal sanctions for nearly two decades. We thought that when they seized power in November last year they had an idea on how to end the economic crisis? So they seized power so that they could continue singing the same old tune about illegal sanctions? So what makes them different from those that they chased away if they also have no clue on how to get the country out of the doldrums? What Zimbos desperately need are solutions, not the same old excuses! Surely shouting that Zimbabwe is open for business and wearing scarfs even in blistering heat does not shoo away the challenges at hand. What Zimbabwe needs are competent leaders, not misleaders that are only good at making one excuse after the other. Those misleaders should rather excuse themselves from public office!
Instead of engaging in productive work, people are busy commissioning artists to do their portraits. We never used to see portraits of Ian Smith and other Rhodesia leaders, who were by far better leaders as far as running the economy was concerned. Surely people do not eat portraits and scarfs, but food. Let that be clear to anyone who purports to be a leader!
Bhero-craft
THE first of the devil-kissed planes from Air Malaysia arrived in Harare last week. Anyone with elementary aviation knowledge knows that most leading airlines in the world are phasing out the Being 777-200 model ― the second hand one for which we were singing our voices hoarse and dancing our tails off at the airport in Harare last week ― because it is dangerously outdated. This explains why the bhero-crafts were bought on a dollar-for-two basis like everything that comes into this country.
Instead of joining Dr CZ in laughing out aloud at this spectacle, Zimbos were furious … wanting to know who the real owners of the new airline, Zimbabwe Airways, are. They fumed and stewed on the various social media platforms as if that would ever make a ha’porth of a difference. Dr CZ squarely agreed with one of his colleagues who asked why suddenly Zimbos want to make a show of making the regime account for anything yet over the years many bigger scandals have never been questioned. Scandals like the deployment of an 11 000-strong army to the Democratic Republic of Congo on a five-year mission and the $15 billion proceeds from the Marange diamonds that vanished in thin air. So what is this measly aircraft deal in comparison? So why the noises now when all along we have allowed ourselves to be treated like idiots; and were rightly treated like idiots? Because we are idiots, only last year Transport Minister Joram Gumbo swore that the airline belonged to some members of the Zimbo Diaspora, for Finance Minister Patrick Chinamasa to only last week suddenly state “categorically” that the planes belong to the Government of Zimbabwe. This should make good study material for anyone dying to understand what “fake news” really is.
If this conundrum was to be left to Dr CZ, he would just incite one of the many angry people and or institutions owed lots of money by government, like former white commercial farmers, to make sure that as soon as any of the planes lands at a foreign airport, it is seized. Before that day ends, the true identity of the owners ― widely believed to be deposed dictator Robert Mugabe’s family ― would come running into the open.
Strange!
SOMETIMES one has to repeatedly pinch themselves to confirm that they are not having a nightmare when a person like (In)-Justice Minister Ziyambi Ziyambi appears on TV saying Zimbabwe has a history of conducting elections in a manner that makes Zimbos proud of themselves. With people like these, surely those who do not fathom what “witchcraft” is will not struggle to understand it. You really struggle to understand why seemingly normal adults would behave in such a way? As the country is preparing for what is regarded as “free, fair and credible” elections, this is the very same man who has booked all venues in his constituency until after elections so that no other party, except his own, can campaign in the constituency!
And in the meantime, there are more than a 100 electoral laws tilting the playing field almost vertically in favour of the incumbent. His ministry should have long changed and or aligned these laws to the Constitution, yet he doesn’t see that. All he sees are Zimbos who are proud of the past sham elections. This makes even the devil himself pinkish-blue with envy!
Former Zimbabwe Republic Police commissioner general Augustine Chihuri

Former Zimbabwe Republic Police commissioner general Augustine Chihuri

Thug contest!
WE are told that the father and son duo that make up the ownership of the Austrian company that was mysterious awarded a $1 billion contract to dualise a portion of the Beitbridge-Harare-Chirundu highway from Beitbridge to Masvingo is trying to be funny by insisting that the company has not failed to meet its side of the bargain and therefore the contract cannot be cancelled. Dr CZ needs to generously warn them that they have now met more than their match. It is going to be a smart duel of thugs. Remember on this side of the line is the same gang that in November last year staged a naked coup that could not be proven in the courts of law as being a coup? This road is supposed to be worked on Zimbabwean soil and not Austrian soil, right? So what will stop “the people” from making sure that the work cannot be done? How will this foreign firm guarantee its own safety in a country where even citizens are hardly safe? After another six months of no meaningful progress on the project, the firm would have to show good cause why the contract should not be terminated (and given directly to our Chinese friends!).
Alternatively “the people” could make one extortionate demand after another from the company (like unsustainable wages for locals who would have hired themselves to work on the project in addition to insisting that they supply all materials… at inflated prices) until the contract becomes uneconomic and the duo flees.
If Dr CZ were them, he would know that he has lost this one and start shopping for another victim before he suffers any more losses. The duo should not say it was not warned. Having been a Zimbo all his life, Dr CZ has become an expert on what every criminal mischief Zimbo is capable of.
Chihure!
A CZ fan asked Dr CZ to ask former police commissioner-general, Cde Augustine Chihuri on his behalf what was going on in his mind when he picked the female police officer from a parade and helped himself to her, only for him to now plead for privacy in the courts.
Dr CZ agrees with the fan… he was also very angry with the Bulawayo magistrate who granted a defective request by a self-styled preacher who qualifies under the broad definition of rapist, for his maintenance case to be heard in private.
Why didn’t he think of his privacy when he was committing the crime? By the way, the courts just want him to explain why he is breaking the law by not paying maintenance for the child born as a result of him forcing himself on a hapless junior police officer, not to repeat in court how he made the woman pregnant. So what does he need any privacy for? Having ordained himself a preacher, what gospel was he preaching to his subordinates? Was he one of the criminals that use the Bible to pull wool over the faces of many? That veil should be lifted so that other like-minded criminals think twice before misbehaving.
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  • gutter poet

    Best of Dr. CZ…no?

  • James Gunike

    Not so impressive on the Beitbridge – Chirundu Highway saga DR CZ. I think you could have done us Zimbabweans some respect and dignity we all deserve by objectively going deeper in your analysis right from the point it all started when a Consortium of Local Zimbabweans was initially awarded the tender but later took Govt to court over this deal when it was mysteriously cancelled citing similar reasons as now. What guarantee is there that your now preferred Chinese contractor won’t do the same? Your subjective failure to address that question exposes you and makes you look like you have something personal to gain from the cancellation of the Austrian company contract and awarding it to your Chinese friends. It makes logic to conclude that those now seeking to remove the Austrian company including yourself stood not to benefit personally from the first two decisions and are now seeing real prospects of digging gold from the promiscuous affair with the prospective Chinese contractor.

  • Cde Rhany D

    taste your own medicine

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