YES, I know that Vice President Emmerson Mnangagwa has been hospitalised, after suffering from a suspected food poisoning. Yes, I know that my friend Sister Governor Mai Shuvai Mahofa of Masvingo, who sadly passed away this week, also suffered from food poisoning in similar circumstances last year. Yes, I also know that the Vice President has suffered three previous mishaps similar to the one he is undergoing now.
Assuming that he survives this latest episode, the stars in his immediate future, seem to me to be in utter disarray. The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars but in us. Me thinks not, the fault lies in his previous choices and his loyalty to a system that is run by charlatans.
Let me give you one example from the past, and leave the readers to make their own conclusions. How does a ceiling in the Vice President’s office fall, releasing a weight which sends his secretary to hospital for an indefinite period?
The second issue is that in the past, Mnangagwa and his cohorts made a decision that when a comrade is attacked by Mukuru’s agents, none of them will rise to that comrade’s defence, no matter how frivolous and spurious the accusations are. In fact, they rejoiced. Now it is his turn, and we must assume that like in past times, they are rejoicing.
In July 2014, I warned these comrades not to rejoice at the humiliation of former vice president Joice Mujuru. My advice was ignored.
At the time of writing, a shameless charlatan, a Rasputin at the Court of the Romanovs, with a professorial title, has been dispatched to finish the Vice President.
A charlatan is a dissembler, willing to do or say anything in order to remain in the limelight or to ingratiate himself with his victims. Like Rasputin, the professor has ingratiated himself with the First Family by concocting a hair-raising scheme, building a university in Mukuru’s name, which will be the foremost centre of learning in Africa, and inevitably immortalise the family name.
Ken Yamamoto, my Japanese brother from another mother, summarises this as the greatest charlatanry ever imposed on a nation. Government will “grant” (a grant is free money) $1 billion for this university. The centre will be run by a Trust/Foundation. Zimbabwe’s total revenues for 2016 amounted to $3,5 billion. That means that one quarter (27 percent to be exact) will be set aside for the institution.
Zimbabwe has debts, $1,2 billion with the World Bank, $600 million with Afreximbank, $2,7 billion with Japan and world institutions. The significance of this is that the flamboyant professor has ingratiated himself with the First Family in a way that the stoic and plain Mnangagwa can never be.
This charlatan has got away with it before. He is the author of “Land is the Economy” a theory used as a justification for farm degradation.
Oh, no, he does not fade away. He is associated with Zimbabwe Agenda for Sustainable Socio-Economic Transformation blueprint, a beautifully written document, purposing to uplift Zimbabwe into self-sufficiency. That is, until one realises that $20 billion is required to base-fund it. The two million jobs promised, were nothing, but a practice in quackery.
The document presented to the Politburo is marked with what professors call “bullets” markers for ideas. The most damaging bullet is the Godfrey Majonga saga in 1987. That story is detailed in my book, Matters of Conscience (Mambo 1999) which won a British Council Award in 2002.
Majonga was allegedly forced to jump from a four-storey window or to sit on a hot plate. His reported crime was sharing a girlfriend. Majonga broke his spine. The issue is deeper than it appears.
The professor was enlarging on a long standing narrative that Karanga leadership is cruel, merciless and is not disposed to reconciliation. Therefore, Zimbabwe leadership should remain in the civilised hands of the Shona. That is where Sidney Sekeramai comes in, a benign, quiet, civilised gentleman, a medical doctor to boot.
In my book, the names of the chefs are not mentioned. But it is possible (though I will defer to the charlatan if he has inside information from the Secret Service) that the professor has confused the lover and the enforcer.
This detail is important because; while all the atrocities, Gukurahundi, Murambatsvina, Churu expulsions, and police road blocks are there for everybody to see, Mukuru is exonerated as having been ill-advised. I think natural law says that the planner and the executioner are equally to blame. Mnangagwa is no more to blame than his cohorts for crimes committed in the name of ZANU-PF.
I telephone my friend Fabian Mabaya every weekend. Sometimes his wife, Happiness, answers the telephone. If, say, Happiness were to scandalise me, telling me to (using an F-word) off, surely I must assume that she is in complete agreement with Fabian, and that my 30-year friendship has been betrayed.
Mnangagwa appealed to Mukuru. He has ammunition in his arsenal to reply to the salvos shot across the bow by Amai, but hear this: “I respect the First Family to do so.”
No, my brother ED. Respect is a two way affair. If Amai does not respect you, the contract is broken. All is not lost yet. At 93, Mukuru’s health is unpredictable. If something were to happen, God forbid, Amai and the charlatan professor will suddenly find themselves exposed to a receding tide.