CABINET FILES AND CZ’s NOTEBOOK
Dear Cabinet and
CDES, this week I will not be addressing you. I have decided to bless myself with another break after a hectic trip to New York for the annual United Nations General Assembly meeting.
I might just want to squelch the rumour that is doing the rounds…the rumour that the Vice President’s position that remains unfilled is reserved for Morgan. There is no iota of truth in this twaddle. Those of you who know how our party operates know that our congress in December will come up with the best candidate for that position. We are not in any hurry whatsoever to fill that position.
…AND NOW TO THE NOTEBOOK
Ya-ah! small wonder this country is called Zimbabwe. It is really a country and a half … that we have always assured you. So heady Lovemore Madhuku has finally decided to take his chances head-on by plunging head-on into the murky waters that we have the effrontery to call politics? And for him this is naturally the most opportune moment for him to take the plunge…when opposition politics is in sixes and sevens? We had always known that, it was just a matter of time for the man has always been an political animal … he was just waiting for the right moment.
Some sclerotic State-aligned analysts were quick to accuse the brother of “political opportunism”. Well, he might be an opportunist, but what they neglected doing was showing us just one politician who is not an opportunist… that is if politics has since ceased to be a game of opportunism!
So instead of stepping aside from the now redundant National Constitutional Assembly (NCA) to pursue his political ambitions alone, the wily Madhuku thought it strategic to transmogrify the civic body into a fully-fledged political movement, with him still blessing the new-look outfit as its head?
Never mind that he had already overstayed at the helm, but also manipulated its constitution to suit his objectives? Because of this, there are some Zimbos who CZ overheard arguing that if allowed to get anywhere near real power, Madhuku risks being the father of all dictators in the world. CZ’s question is: which good politician in this world is not a dictator? We have seen constitutions being changed over and over again to suit whoever would be at the helm because power — no matter how small — is something that is never let go just like that. Never, ever!
The problem we have in this world is that there are so many people who are so naïve as to think that people go into politics to serve them. People go into politics in search of power… power being one of the three personal glories that (almost) all men live (and can even kill) for. The other two are wealth and sex. Never ever be fooled that so and so is doing this and that for the people. There is no such thing on this place called earth… at least for now. Maybe on the other side of the rainbow. Whenever a man is left alone, the only thing they busy themselves with is plotting how (and how fast) they can get all these three “ideals” in one cage. Madhuku is not different, so to accuse him of anything would actually be trying to pervert nature.
So after waiting on the sidelines for so many years (and in the process trying to get us to forget that he is a convicted thief) Madhuku thought this is his time. Which could be, who knows?
One thing CZ can tell for sure is that Madhuku and those who have joined him in his project envied Morgan Tsvangirai and his hangers-on when they were in the inclusive government. Tsvangirai & Co had gone into politics because they envied President Robert Mugabe and his team. A man can have everything, but until and unless they have power — political or otherwise, real or imaginary — life is not complete. That is the reason why people that we think are successful beyond the dream of Croesus end up abandoning whatever it is that brought them that “success” to join politics. It is so because unlike in religion, sport, business or any other field of human endeavour, with politics you control more people than anyone else. We have seen very prominent academics, lawyers, doctors you name them abandoning their professional callings in the stampede for political office. It is simply because of that craving for power… and power is defined as a man’s right to control another. See? So why begrudge Madhuku?
As for CZ, he is happy that he has a new character to “feast” on “head-on”!
Some people think CZ is silly when he tells them never to trust politicians because their stomachs come ahead of everyone and everything. Below is a statement that we are told was issued by the office of the newly-elected mayor of the City of Mutare, Tatenda Nhamarare, who was duly elected on an MDC-T ticket: “The mayor, Councillor T Nhamarare, councillors, council officials and the citizens of the city, would like to express our warm and heartfelt congratulations to His Excellency, the President of the sovereign Republic of Zimbabwe, Cde R.G Mugabe and indeed the Honourable Vice President Cde Joice Teurai Ropa Mujuru for resoundingly winning the harmonised elections conducted on 31 July 2013.
“The citizens of Mutare take great pride to be associated with such outstanding, God-given and principled political leadership with unparalleled contributions to both our struggle for our liberation and focus on nation-building, unity, empowerment for social and economic development. We sincerely wish them every success in the quest to indigenise, empower and improve the status of all Zimbabweans as a nation.”
Life is so unfair. If one were to consider how much Zimbabwe Broadcasting Corporation (ZBC) staff have for years been going the extra mile to endear themselves to the owners of the country… only for the same owners to ignore these super-patriots out of existence! We were told that the famished workers — who reportedly once wrote to the President himself without luck — this week decided to seek divine intervention by trying the fasting route! Well, since most of these hapless workers have had no food in their homes for quite sometime now, we have no doubt that a number of them found the pangs of the “official” fasting easy to endure.
Well, this country being Zimbabwe which it has always been, there is always an explanation ready for every situation. The most shop-soiled of them is “illegal sanctions”. We hope and pray that this time around the ugly British and their American cousins have no hand in the sorry state of affairs at the public broadcaster where workers (excluding management) have gone for a record six months with no pay!
Someone whispered into CZ’s ever-cocked ears that this could be merely a winnowing process… testing people’s levels of patriotism. It is suspected that quite a good many of the workers are just hangers-on, who not only have nothing to do, but are suspected of having strong sympathies for the opposition. What is six months without pay?
Some of us were in the war for years on end for nothing. So it could be merely a strategy to get rid of these mercenaries who are there for the money, not the love for their own country… after several months of toiling for nothing chuff would naturally be separated from the real stuff. Well, this is just rumour, which you and I know is a motherless child. Let’s wait to see if those who will survive this will have their day!
Still on the scandal at ZBC, CZ is so sure that the corporation’s public relations manager, Cde Sivukile, Simango was misquoted in the local media as saying: “If they decide to seek divine intervention, then let them do so, but at their own peril.”
Otherwise such comments reminds CZ and other journo colleagues of a whiskey incident that took place at a local hotel involving the same brother some years back!
Government is seriously looking at setting up toll gates in urban areas… that is according to Transport Minister, Cde Obert Mpofu. Illegal (until now legal) housing projects will be bulldozed away, that is according to Local Government Minister Cde Ignatius Chombo. Local authorities are toying with the idea of charging spot fines “like in other countries”. Starting this week, State spy agencies can snoop into anyone’s phone or e-mail communication. Police are going to deal decisively with any errant behaviour. Power and water cuts are now part and parcel of our lives. Well you name it. One thing we should be so proudly sure about as Zimbabweans is that the elections season is over. We are back to the life that God and the gods condemned us to. Welcome to the bounteous harvest of bhora mugedhi.
CZ said it for time with no number that all politicians are the same. He pointed out that after the elections we would be all the same, winners or losers, because these politicians we trust even with our own lives are born by the same mother. They are consanguineous.
We are told that cash is becoming a golden commodity again. Ha ha ha-ah! Let’s wait and see!
This is CZ’s Notebook!