WHEN I was only 14 years old, I worked for Dr Solomon Mustwairo as his garden boy.
He was writing two of his masterpieces, Feso and Murambiwa Goredema. I did not appreciate it at the time when he tested his wise sayings on me. One of them goes like this: “Ken my boy, the trouble with you is that you are too clever by half.”
The Zimbabwe economy is now bleeding to death because we allowed ourselves to be led by voodoo economists who had bought their voodoo degrees from suspicious universities and who shouted at us when they implemented their clever by half policies.
One of the voodoo policies was to chase away white farmers and replace them with cellphone urban bankers who could not distinguish mavise (water melons) from manhanga (pumpkins). Now, they are running around like headless chickens looking for somebody to blame.
When we told them, they called us Uncle Toms.
The Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe has a total of four governors, most of these are said to have degrees in some voodoo finance. My brother from another mother, Ken Yamamoto tells me that these doctors of finance told the International Monetary Fund in 1999 that the cost of the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) war was US$3 million per month. Documents within the ministry revealed the cost to be US$27,7 million. Zimbabwe had, two years before, paid ZW$50 million gratuities to war veterans outside budget control.
When the The International Monetary Fund (IMF) told them not to cook the books, Mukuru said these words. “The IMF should shut up its mouths. Yes, we have spent money in the DRC, but we have not died because of that. We continue to be productive.”
To be fair, these economists deny that they advised Mukuru to print money on toilet paper. We have it on record that Finance Minister, Patrick Chinamasa, urged government to be “creative.”
Mukuru also claimed “sooova-renity” and there the matter ended.
I plead with all the voodoo economists to show their faces so we can take back their fake diplomas.
Enough is enough. The country has run out of money, food, and friends.
We know that the United States is suffering from serious budget excesses, which originated from its wars in the Middle East. A small country like Zimbabwe cannot undertake external imperialistic wars without dire consequences.
These voodoo economists advised Mukuru that “we are still productive”. The following statistics are derived from weekly bulletins covering a two-week period in December 2015. Sable Chemicals shut down on December 5, following failure by ZESA to supply electricity. As many as 500 workers are now jobless. ZESA is scheduled to lay off 1 000 workers. Zisco has already laid off its 3 000 workers, who have stayed put since 2011 without remuneration. Hwange, the largest coal mine north of the Limpopo, failed to deliver coal to its own power station, on its own campus. Anglo-American Tete Coal Mines, which supports a population of 100 000 is slowly becoming the new coal town in southern Africa.
Please, you voodoo economists, I want to see your diplomas so I can tear them up.
I will tell you a secret. The numerous audits on government institutions were sponsored by the hated IMF in order to expose corrupt practices. The IMF wanted written proof before making the following recommendation, that these institutions must be privatised. All the reports are adverse. This reminds me of Mutsvairo’s words. “The trouble with you is that you are too clever by half.”
Chinamasa wrote to the IMF these words: “We thank the IMF for its continued support of our economic reform programme and valuable technical assistance.”
Further, the Ministry of Finance has to report to the IMF on a weekly, monthly and quarterly basis. I thought you voodoo economists told Mukuru that Zimbabwe is a “Soooovareegnty and that it shall never be a colony again.”
What can be gleaned from the reports of the Auditor-General is the fact that these companies were headed by unrepentant scoundrels whose singular purpose was the destruction of the institutions they headed. One example will suffice. The audit by Ernst and Young reported that 11 executives at the Premier Service Medical Aid Society, with Cuthbert Dube as the main culprit, received US$86,9 million in the two years prior to 2013 when the company failed to meet its US$119 million debt to providers. In addition while these executives shared US$22 888 281, “outside the payroll” (a fancy phrase for under the table) service providers went unpaid. My doctor in Masvingo was not paid for prolonged periods (extending to six months) in 2014. I also know that Health Minister, David Parirenyatwa drew a sum of US$77 000 outside his payroll of US$27 000.
Air-Zimbabwe managers had an insurance policy premium of US$300 000 per year but opted for one, of US$3 million per year, the sum was paid outside the budget.
The audits confirm this conclusion, that Zimbabwe faces starvation for prolonged periods unless it privatises these public institutions. This is how the IMF operates. As we speak, Zimbabweans own only 10 percent of the economy according to Minister Chinamasa. Because the government tried to cut corners and to be clever by half, we are now in a worse situation than we were in 1980.
Please stand up and be counted if you are one of these voodoo economists who recommended these stupid policies.
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